Adults fear failure most of all.

When a child makes a mistake it is easy to brush it off. When an adult makes an mistake they dwell on the matter. 

When a child makes a mistake, they may or may not know why it is wrong. When an adult makes a mistake they wonder if what they know is actually wrong.  

Death is natural, it comes eventually, we all know this. Above death we fear failure. 

What if everything you learnt, everything you believed was right, things you have placed your hopes and wishes in. What if they were all just a dream, an illusion. What if no matter how much you hoped, how far you have prayed. It would never happen.  

Failure, what if your life was just a failure.

How do you start again? Is there a reset button? Can my time start over? 

Adults fear failure most of all. 

There are pretty random moments in my life where I think about what I do. When people ask me what I want to do for the rest of my life, I tell them I would “go with the flow”. In actual fact, I have no idea what I want to be. I’m afraid to make a decision.

What if I get it wrong

What if that isn’t what I really want to be

What if I don’t make the grade

If I do happen to have depression it will also be:

What if everything was my fault

What if I’m letting everyone down 

What if my life is just one big mistake

What if there wasn’t such as thing as a mistake. What we learn from wrongs we can change into rights. Maybe.

Time and cognitive energy wasted again! I should have started my studies ages ago..

Mhm.. can’t work on a full stomach..

Bleh

Trickster Online tries to revive players

As I have mentioned in my previous post, players in Trickster Online are not as active as it once may have been. There are still players signing up everyday but old players are/already have drifted to other games. Simply because there isn’t really much to do. 

In this weeks patch Ntreev has released events attempting it’s old revive players. 

Players who have not signed on since the 1st September get “awesome” prizes if they sign back on. 

Attendance sheets to collect to receive Pirate Min pet and equipment. 

Double the amount of Exp and Tm experience for 2 hours at random times.

Seriously does look like they’re trying to get players on more often. Would help if they fix the lags.

Updates

As some people may have already noticed, the download section needs some major updating.. as well as other areas.. -looks away-

I’m working on that.

I’ve uploaded some music in that section today but if any of the links are dead, please tell me, I shall revive it as soon as possible.

Kim Hye-seong

I sometimes wonder what fame could do to a person. Does it make a person more arrogant, feel more superior because they believe they have achieved what many people were not able to. Does it make people feel they should appreciate what they have? Actually I have no idea what people think when they are famous ._. But I believe a persons look is important, especially if it is a first impression. Not saying the second, third and last impressions are not important either of course.

Actor Kim Hye-seong, it was his appearance that first caught directors eyes and his baby face is what attracted fans to him.

   

So how did this turn into this..

I know nothing about fashion, nothing about the newest trends. Maybe this is a new style. But I have to say, I prefer the young boyish look. So yeah… it was just a page so random nonsense again ._.

Sony Ericsson W980 RIP (not a review)

Sony Ericsson W980, brand new with the packaging arrived on my doorstep on the 14th October. Sleek piano black and phone memory up to 8GB. What more is there to it. I didn’t choose the phone, but I absolutely loved it. 

But what happened on the 20th October? I lost it. First thing that stuck me was the fact I was on an 18 month contract. I would still be paying the monthly fees even if I was not using the phone. Then I depressed that I had lost the 2 phones charms I got in Korea, I really like those.

I stood at the bus station waiting for my buss driver to return, actually hoping someone was kind enough to hand it back. Not likely, but I still hoped.

I asked a member of the staff if there was anything that could have been done, for example leaving a message for the driver. His answer was flat, and rather rude. What else had I expected, he probably has to deal with the same situation day after day. In a way, I pitied him. 

So I sat at the station whist I waited, with my art journal out I began to draw. I say draw but it was just scribbling and blacking any white sections on the page

It was an hour before my bus driver came back, I knew what the answer would be when I asked him if someone had handed in a phone.

Ah well.. what can one do? Go home and find some Pocky..

Trickster Guild Wedding

Stupid thing, we were bored, nothing serious.

We lacked a Priest so we has a special guest from another guild conduct the ceremony, but she didn’t know how to say it on english so it was in German >D

It was interesting because we had to guess when to say “I do”

We had 2 couples, myself included. First couple was a Raccoon and a Buff. Both girls in real life. The second was me (kitteh) and a Sheepies (another girl I believe).

Raccoon did not look like a bride, it was amusing watching her try. Even with fused equips she didn’t look anywhere near a bride ._.

When we were asked it kiss, it got confusing lawlz

Thursday 31st July

Yesterday my mother and my dad planned out the rest of our holiday. It was decided that on the 1st August we would go to Mac for two days. We would board a ferry on Friday and leave the place on a Sunday. On the following Monday we would be boarding a plane to Thailand. We should be there for exactly five days. On the 11th of August be would be on the plane again on our way to Korea. I feel like I’ll be travelling for most of the holiday.

Today went to have breakfast at this Chinese restaurant about 10 minutes away from where we were staying. We waited for quite a long while before they brought of a plate of lettuce/cabbage (I can’t tell, but I think it’s cabbage). It was bitter. The adults seemed to enjoy it though. I can’t really say I’m used to the foods there, I miss my fish and chips. (For breakfast-yeah)

I repeat. Hong Kong is hot. And people smell. Me, my mother, sister and brother went clothes shopping today. We came back was just a little too much clothes. I think I need another suitcase, or two. Couldn’t help it, the was a store called Bread and Butter, we (me and my sister) just had to go in. The clothes hunting must have gone on for about four to five hours, the bags were killing me.

Around about 3pm we went to have some sushi. The menu was in Chinese but we (aka me and my sister) managed to guess most of it. Some of the things on the menu were new to me. I never knew octopuses had fingers! Err yeah I ate it. Tastes like squid. Which doesn’t really tastes of much.

It must have been around 7.30pm by the time we got back. Tiring, but holidays are always tiring. Now that I mention holiday, I have to pack for tomorrow.

My sister took some pix of where we was staying. All the houses were different, better quality of living for those who could afford it. I think a few of them belonged to my gramps. He still plans to buy all the houses in the village, we can all dream.

Tuesday 29th July

I know this is kinda late but this is something I wrote whilst being bored in Hong kong. 

 

To say that today was tiring is seriously an understatement. The plane ride was uncomfortable, I was relieved to be getting off it. The weather was freaking crazy and Elainey was feeling sick. Where to start..

The car ride to Heathrow was pretty smooth, we didn’t get caught on huge queuing traffic and we found the car park with plenty of time left to check in. My mother, dad and brother all sat together on a row of seats, leaving me and my sister with 2 other women on a separate row. Elaine sat on the outside so she didn’t really have that much of a problem, me however, sat next to one for the women. Obviously she doesn’t believe one should have their own personal space. Her elbow was forever touching me and crossing the invisible wall I placed between us. We never spoke to each other but I believed she was changing planes to Vietnam. Twas a very uncomfortable journey.

Compared to BA the airline I went with last year CP had more entertainment to offer and the food was alrightish. The seats were still very uncomfortable though. Personally I don’t like sleeping whilst sitting. Apparently I always sleep on my side, my sister has obviously been observing me.

Getting off the plane wasn’t any better. The interiors of the airport were overwhelming and I temporally forgot all my tiredness. That was until I got outside. I was laughing when my dad said HK weather was like being in an oven, I thought it was a little extreme. I still think it’s a little extreme to compare it was something like an oven but at that moment, I totally agreed with him. I think it must have been around 35/36 degrees but it felt like 200. The weather in England rarely gets up to 30 and when it does I get my energy drained. After a pretty long car ride, I got back to my gramps.  He has a new servant and she refers my dad as 少爺 aka Young master. My brother is 小少爺 which is err young young master? We all get funny titles but lets not go into that. Now that I mention it, I didn’t actually get the servant’s name.

We were showed the place we were supposed to be staying at, I was both relieved and disappointed. Relived because I didn’t have to stay at my granddad’s and disappointed because I thought the place would be in a better condition. One cannot hope for too much though, I have a room to myself.

Shortly after arriving we set off again to find food. My stepgran brought us to a Chinese restaurant and we got served funny soup. It wasn’t like the soup tasted bad, it was actually very nice but well.. Scroll down to see what I mean.

The food was ok there, didn’t get to eat a lot just in case I start having an allergic reactions. In a way I was kind of glad I didn’t eat much. My brother kindly pointed out there was a woman in the kitchens cutting her nails. Mhm.. just great.  That immediately put me off the food. 

Even with the sun out I still feel like I’m being cooked. Like those steamed buns. So tired, it’s currently 10pm in HK and 3pm England time. Me however need my sleep, I’m currently on neither time zones.

 

 

Busy busy

Lies.

I’ve been meaning to do something here but never really found the (ompf?) to actually do anything. Me being busy is just an excuse, don’t think I’ve ever been busy my whole life. I always take things slowly even if things are needed to be done quickly. Anyways, on with the blogging..

Um.. lost my new phone within a week, failed my driving test with a DANGEROUS on steering. Never actually had a problem with steering before ._.

Made some stupid videos with a friend of mine. Think we were supposed to plan something big, but I forgot.

I’ve noticed on the dashboard thing that most of the people here searched for Trickster Online. Those who play seriously would know that one of the GMs (Game masters) have quit. I heard from some people that GM_Nero went off to become an animator. I wish him the best of luck!

I myself haven’t actually been in the game much, due to the fact there really isn’t much to do. I dislike PvP, a place where it is acceptable to killed by other people but “no fair” to kill those who have killed you. I was on for the GvG games where my guild leader has asked me to play. I don’t expect much until they fix the HV nerf. Which I hope they do quickly, otherwise my cat is just going to sit there whist people slaughter me. No more quests for me either, unless I decide to work on my other characters. I dislike to grind, especially after the bonus exp event where I went from 230 to 260. I needed a break after that >.0 

I haven’t been the only one not online though. Apparently many people have quit this game, some banned.. mainly high levels though. I guess one reason is that high levels can’t really depend on in game equips, they need Myshop in order to compete with other people. I know from experience that once you start spending money, it’s hard to stop. 

It’s been nosy for the past week or so. My parents decided to remodel their bathroom (and not mine), builders are running up and down the stairs and slamming doors, but worst of all.. they closed the water pipes. Meaning…  I have to run to the nearest shopping centre for the toilet and I have to get up before the builders come (around 8am) otherwise I don’t get to wash. Nice isn’t it.

Next time I’l upload some screenies from the game. 

Rena