As Far As I Can Go

At my current stage is probably the most confusing, frustrating and scariest point of my life. I need to decide on what I must do in the future. It feels different from when your parents asked you when you were younger, what you wanted to be. At this point of my life I have to make a very serious decision. I know there will be a time when my parents will no longer be able to shield or protect me. I don’t like the thought of stepping into the unknown, even if I were to prepare for it, I don’t know what I want to do. What if my plan doesn’t follow, what if something in my plan changes, what if I my plan was wrong from the beginning? What if I couldn’t turn back and start over. Would I have to live up to my families’ expectations, would they be disappointed if I don’t live how they wanted me to?

I want to try though. I want to try and face the problems and overcome any difficulties. I still don’t know what I want to do in life but I think it’ll be somewhere along the lines of Arts and Design, I also want to open a business (though it may be difficult). My mother thinks I should pursue in Psychology as it is more respectable (in another words more stable and more income) and I secretly agree with her. My grades won’t make the mark though. Art and Design is big area, I need to think carefully what I actually want to do. I don’t know what will come in the future. I don’t know what to do when it does come. I do want to know though, what will I do when it comes. How far I can go in this maze, until I can find the exit. And until I find what I really want to be.

What to do

I can probably think of a lot of reasons why I haven’t been posting in this blog or being doing much at all recently. 

I am fully aware that I have many many things to be getting on with and the internet can probably entertain me for hours. But anything I do.. doesn’t seems to satisfy me anymore. Recently I’ve noticed, I have been taking little interests in things. Maybe this is what others may refer to as “bored with living”. It’s not like I’ve seen the world and I’m bored now or feeling even slightly suicidal. Everything just seems to be, well.. boring. There is nothing I want to do, nothing I want to watch, nothing I can think of even doing. In fact, I think I’ll be happy to sleep all day if I could. Nothing seems to appeal to me. I haven’t even been going out, I’m saving myself a small fortune in my little bottle. Under normal circumstances this would normally be something quite nice, now it’s just making me feel depressed. I have a strange feeling it might be the whether affecting me. It’s been really cold and it even snowed on monday. Cold equals bed. Or maybe I’m tired. I haven’t done much of my homework, especially my art and it’s wearing me down, mentally.  

 

On a good note though, the Poppuri event in TO is back! The last one we had was pretty recent so it was sort of surprising that another was held so soon. (Though the last newsletter did hint the event was coming back). The prizes were not as great as the ones previously given out and it’s unlikely we would reach Stage 7 of the event. Which is something new as GMs normally have to create more stages because we drilled so much. Not going to reach the last stage is probably due to the fact that the boxes are now harder to find, the amount of boxes needed in order to get to the next stage has risen and more importantly, the driller boy and driller girl had been removed a month before the event started. I was looking forwards to the Queen Odinea boxes and the GMs recharging all our myshops for 7 days. 

The EXP event does seem very good but last time it was held, it wore me out physically and mentally. I was begging for my bracer to end. Still achieved a fair amount of levels though, I shot through the rankings. (Currently being pushed down I think) I also wonder what the Princess boxes would contain. I hope it’s going to be blue or some sort.. my kitty’s current colour scheme D:

Can’t think of what to write now, please tune next time to.. err.. forget it..